It’s exactly one week before I leave the country. I’m sitting in the kitchen having breakfast with my grandmother and thinking about my impending move. The closer the time gets the more nervous I get. Although I was born in the US I haven’t spent more than two months at a time there since I initially left and I have not been back in about five years!
My parents split up when I was three years old and my dad brought me back to Trinidad to live with him and my grandmother, well with my grandmother mostly because he’s always travelling on business. I would spend my summers with my mother but I never really lived with her full time.
Technically I won’t be living with her when I move back to the US because I’ll be living on campus but we’re going to be in the same state and I will be there on weekends and short breaks, so it is still a little nerve racking.
My relationship with my mother is kind of weird. We get along pretty well but we’re not really close. We talk on the phone all the time but she knows nothing about my personal life and we never speak about feelings. I speak to my stepfather about those things a lot more.
My mom got married when I was five years old and she had my first brother, Kyle, a year after that and my second brother, Karlton, two years after the first. (Don’t ask me what the obsession is with K names). I love being a big sister to them but sometimes I wish that I had a little sister, someone to dress up and make into my mini me. I guess I’ll have to wait until I have my daughter to do that.
The image of my imaginary daughter flashes in my mind and I smile and remember that I’m spending the weekend with Ray at his uncle’s beach house with a few of my best friends.
“Where it is you say you going again?” My grandmother is eyeing me suspiciously.
“Granny I told you. Me and some friends from school are going to Michelle’s family”s beach house for the weekend. They wanted to do something fun with me before I leave. Aurora’s mom is going with us”.
“Well yuh know my blood doe take that woman. She feel she is one of allyuh!”
“I know Granny. Michelle’s dad is driving us all up there but he’s not staying. He has to work tonight but he’ll be back tomorrow for the rest of the weekend”.
“Ok then. At least I know it will have at least one responsible adult there”, she says laughing.
I smile and nudge her, “Granny why you so?”
I hate lying to my grandmother but there is no way in hell she would let me go if she knew I was going with Ray. Her blood doesn’t take him either. Meaning, there’s something she just doesn’t like about him but she doesn’t know exactly what it is. It wasn’t a complete lie though because I am going with my girls but I just left out the part about our boyfriends being there and the parents not being there.
Crowned Papillon 